I didn’t sleep very well last night. Early this morning I was awoken by a clatter above my room, so I crawled out of bed with the cats, and we went to investigate. A large fat man in a red suit was standing on my balcony, rapping at the door. I quickly let him in.

“Santa, what are you doing here?”

Santa shoved his enormous bulk through the entryway and clomped into my room in his heavy black boots. “Ugh!” he exclaimed. “I heard it was supposed to get a little chilly in Florida today, but it’s hot out there, at least for this furry suit, ho-ho-ho!” He withdrew a plastic bag from his pocket and said, “May I change in your bathroom?”

“Of course. But I’m still not sure why you’re here!”

“All will be clear in a moment, dear.” He wiggled his cheery red nose and scratched through his white beard. “Ah, I need a trim,” he mumbled as he went into the bathroom and shut the door.

Meanwhile, Magnolia and Petunia, my two sweet kitties, were sniffing around trying to figure out who was visiting. “Don’t worry,” I whispered. “It’s only Santa. Anyway, this is probably just a dream.”

Santa emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of Bermuda shorts and a bright pink t-shirt emblazoned with the words Palm Beacher. His neon green flip-flops slapped against his calloused feet.

“Is that festive enough, Santa?” I asked.

“Call me Fred.” Santa shrugged and slumped down on my mattress. “Fred’s my real name, but we keep it quiet.”

“I see.”

“Rosa, I need a favor from you.”

“Oh?”

“Word has traveled to the North Pole about your magic flying car, Midge. My reindeer are sick with a stomach virus after they ate some bad hay. That’s the last time I shop at Costco!” Santa stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Rosa, would you lead my sleigh tonight?”

I grinned. “Santa, I’d be honored.”

Some time later, I blinked and awoke in my bed, shaking my head at the strange dream. “Boy, that was weird,” I mumbled to myself.

But as I sat up, I gasped–

For sitting upon my bed was a bright red Santa hat, and a note that said, Don’t forget to check your fluids before you lead my sleight tonight.

So, girls and boys, look up in the sky this evening. If you see Santa’s sleigh, listen for that “Ho-ho-ho!” And watch closely as a rusty, twenty-year old Hyundai sores across the stars, bringing presents to all the good children of the world.

On this joyous holiday season, enjoy– and always remember  to change your oil regularly!