I left Pennsylvania for Florida because it hurt too much. Lately, the pain from my trigeminal neuralgia hasn’t been bad. Not as bad as it could be. But like any TN patient, I worry. My thoughts, scattered. “What if tomorrow is worse? What if I cannot work? What if…” I have to live in the moment. Try not to think about it. But the fear gets me down, and the anxiety does worsen. Does the fear control me? Only if I let it. Gotta fight. So, here I am, home at last. But feeling unsettled.

My sweet Petunia, my cat, has run off. She is the light of my life (one of them). It’s hard to picture the world turning without her. I pray she comes home, every day. In the meantime, life continues. Even though it seems wrong. It seems, sometimes, like things shouldn’t go on without Petunia around.

She sat with me while I wept. Screamed. Cried out. Petunia was there with me during the worst of my pain. She lay beside me while the invisible knife of TN stabbed into the left side of my head. And when my TN worsened, she developed abnormalities in her eye, a darkness that took over until her left eye was brown and her right eye remained green. I thought it strange that we both shared an oddity in our left sides– hers visible, mine invisible.

I am happier, more comfortable in Florida. But without my companion, I am heartbroken.

Come home, Petunia. Please? 

If you are in Florida, specifically Jensen / Stuart area, and you think you have seen Petunia, please email me: rosysophia@gmail.com

She has been missing since June 15.